derby love

what a great year it has been. i don't remember what life was like before i started playing roller derby. i must have had so much free time. i have had 3 bouts under my belt now, 2 scrimmages with other teams, and i'm finally starting to feel really comfortable on the track.

first we had Brains vs Fangs which was just absolutely amazing to participate in. it was extremely successful. there were so many people that came. my mom, grandma and my niece made signs that said "jess the ripper". when i saw those, i seriously almost started crying. i mean, roller derby seriously makes you feel like a rockstar.

then we had our bout in charlotte vs the speed demons. it was really fast paced, and hey i'm not gonna lie, they are some talented ladies. the fact that we lost just makes me want to train harder. eat better, work out more, listen to my body. i had a great time there, and we have so many great fans. i love everyone in this team. although i did dislocate my shoulder, i decided to play in our bout that was a week away.

i was in a sling for 3 days, couldn't do my hair, couldn't dress myself, hard to sleep, i mean it sucked. but i have a great fiance that helped me out and took care of me. i am so lucky. so after getting through the shitty part of the week, i felt better, enough to play in the bout. winterthunderland was seriously awesome, too. it was a really close game (just like brains vs fangs). i had a lot of fun and my shoulder actually feels pretty good today.

i am really excited to keep playing derby, and so stoked for next year. i'm gonna push and play my hardest. we have done so much and come so far already, and it is only gonna get better. i love roller derby and i love my derby sisters. they rule. watch out, world, here we come.

<3
Ripper

An Ode to My Lovelies

derby wife is quite simply this -

She is the one person in this whole sport of roller derby that the very instant you looked at her, you felt like you'd known her since you were a fetus. She looked just like your best friend from fifth grade, or something she did reminded you of all the things you ever liked in anyone else.
She is the first person you'd call if you ever need to get bailed out of jail. (Or in my case, ever need to have an entire legal crusade started in your name.)
She's the one who will be holding back your hair when you puke after drinking too much, and she won't let anyone take your picture while doing it.
She'll ride in the ambulance with you when you lose a tooth, break your wrist, or tear your ACL.She'll make you laugh the whole way to the hospital, try to steal your pain medication (lovingly), and sneak your favorite food and a beer into recovery.
She'll make her actual husband understand that if he loves her, he's gonna have to put up with you, too, no matter how many times you come over forcing him to revisit all the derby-related shows on his Tivo that you missed.
She may not even be your best friend in the league or the sport, but she'd be the one you know will be the first one to back you up, even if you're dead wrong. She'll just tell you you've lost your fucking mind later in private, possibly kick your ass a little bit, and then be the only one who could ever talk your hotheaded ass into some reason.

Sent to me by Miss Brody Slaughter House

So much love,

Pleather

Want You To Push It Babe

I have been out of commission for the past month and coming back is rough. All sorts of aches and pains.
Our very first scrimmage is coming up this Sunday against the Boone team. To prepare we have been scrimmaging for an hour at the end of each practice. Flailed and managed to elbow Shrimp n' Grits in the face the other night, did I mention she was my team's jammer. Split her lip open, I felt like a complete donkey.
Both excited and apprehensive for the up coming match. Had a stress dream the other night about it, where the track was made of asphalt and my wheels were ground down to the bearings and I was left tromping around on my Reds.
My legs are sore, but I'm achin' for more.

Pleather

well, I finally passed assessments!!! I'm an official roller girl now... and it's awesome. we had our first full scrimmage within our team, and it was fabulous. I really need to get some new knee pads though, I can really start to feel it after practice, especially in my left knee. I'm really excited about practice tonight because we're having a visitor come... "Fonda Kiknbutz" is coming!!

xoxo, Jess the Ripper

TO EXCITED TO EVEN THINK OF A CLEVER TITLE!

LOOK AT THESE KNEE PADS!!

OH DEAR DERBY GODS, PLEASE, OH PLEASE, LEAVE THESE AT MY DOOR.

LOVE, ERIS THROTTLE

101 bruses

Dear Derby Diary,

I have have skating my ass off....litteraly....Just look.

I left the top few layers on the rink, feel free to use them for whatever suits your fancy.

Forever Yours,

Eris Throttle

My Dear

Dear Skates,

I miss you.

Life has interfered and I am unable to skate.

I can't handle being without you.

Pleather

Gettin' Derby With It

NAH NAH NAH NAH NAHHHHH

Exciting News!

I passed my assessments, so I am now an official Greensboro Derby Diva!

and.......................................

We finally broke down and got Internet at my house, so I can post fun blogs whenever I fancy!

But Wait Thats Not All......................................

WE ALSO HAVE OUR FIRST BLOG FOLLOWER!!!!!

EEEK!


<3,

Eris Throttle

Wam Bam Thank You Mam

The team has began to scrimmage. I partook in the first three roller derby scrimmages of my roller derby carrier. It was all very wonderful and chaotic. Each day I find my love for roller derby deepening. I can already feel the team forming ties and learning to work as one rink thrashing organism. No matter how many falls and hits I take, I won't be giving this up anytime soon.

I'm going to get a little sappy here for a second, but I've never felt this way. I tried various sports, but never meshed and quickly learned to settle into a life of inactivity. To be out on the rink sweating, racing and screaming, makes me come alive. I'm like a love struck school girl, spending all of my free time mooning over skates and various other derby related fantasies.

My name is Pleather Tuscadero and I love Roller DERBY!

HOTDAMN!

I know this is a Pleather Tuscadero over load, but I just wanted to announce that after much hard work, I finally passed my final assessments! I am now an official roller girl!

yessir

p.s.

I wish Eris Throttle would stop smelling like shit.

Don't do this

Thanks alcohol for making me a hubris fool.

I have been on a fairly strict no alcohol diet, but my resolve was weakened after receiving a phone call from some old friends who I had not seen in a good year. Of course on being reunited we decided the only way to correctly celebrate was to consume a copious amount of alcohol, ranging from beer, wine, liquor and the always lethal four loko. I think the four loko was really what did me in. After staying up till five in the morning and dancing harder than I'd danced in a real long, I decided the best way to finish off the night was to do a series of push ups derby style. Regular, diamond and elbows out. The alcohol running through my system made me completely oblivious to my muscles crying out in pain. I pushed myself way beyond my limits. It's also a well known fact that it is dangerous to exercise while intoxicated because it can cause actual muscle damage.

Needles to say, I woke up with horrendous shits and some serious pain coursing through my shoulders. It's three days later and it still hurts to move my neck.

stupid

stupid

stupid

Pleather Tuscadero

Stink Stank Punk

Dear Derby Diary,

I am on the search for a "natural" deodorant that actually works.

So far I have only tried two different brands, Tom's Of Maine and Alba. Toms was awful, it didn't even make it through a normal day, so I didn't bother testing it out at practice. I had my hopes up with the Alba, I really like there other products (face wash/lotion) and it had a great lavender sent. I used it for a few days and it seemed to hold up well, even through babysitting and hanging out at the park, so I took the chance and wore it to derby practice. Unfortunately, it failed.....and I left smelling like swamp thang.

On the other hand, I suppose I could use this to my advantage and use my mystic stank powers to get the opposing team to clear a path for me??!?


Forever Yours,

Eris Throttle

moanin' and groanin'

hi all,

jess the ripper here. i'm not good with introductions and all that non-sense, so i'm just going to vent about my body for, well, probably the whole post.

so, about two months ago, i had fallen on my tail bone three times in a row (this was before i learned how to fall properly!). it doesn't immobilize you, but it does make everything uncomfortable and painful (including pooping). it's just really frustrating to miss practice due to a silly injury that takes FOREVER to heal.

anyways, so it was finally starting to heal up, and then last practice, i fell on it again. i didn't fall directly on it like last time, thankfully. i was trying to do a baseball slide, and the impact from the floor hitting my thigh/ass was enough to give me some intense pain up my back. i guess it was from my muscles pushing on the bone too hard, or something, but now, i feel like i'm back where i was two months ago. it hurts to take a shit, it hurts to sit down for long periods, it hurts to squat, it hurts to lay in bed (the only way it doesn't hurt is on my stomach, which isn't necessarily how i want to relax when i'm in bed). i guess i am just really upset because i know how long it took for my 1st tailbone injury to heal (it wasn't even fully healed), and now i messed it up again. the worst part is the doctor told me that there is nothing you can do about it. she told me to take Ibuprofen and use a heating pad/ice, which helps only while i'm using it. the only thing other than Ibuprofen i have helping me is some muscle relaxers that i got from a friend. but even those don't really help. but they definitely help me relax and take a bit of the edge off.

anyways, onto something rad... i got new wheels! i got the suregrip fugitives in red (95As). i haven't even gotten to try them out yet! well, except around the house. the only thing i've noticed about them is that they collect a lot of dog/cat hair while cruising through my hallway. but as soon as i get back on the rink, i will for sure let everyone know how they feel!

derby love,
jess the ripper

Pelvis

I spelled Eris Throttle's name wrong in my last blog (Aris Throttle), I'm a doof. Went to my first practice in a week last night. I've been out with some dumb personal bullshit. The team has decided to hold an election to appoint heads of commits and various other positions. I'm relieved that we are doing this, because I imagine Molly Flogger has had too much on her hands with trying to deal with the whole team, not saying she doesn't do a good job, I just think that one person shouldn't have to take on all of the responsibilities of running an entire team. I'm not going to be running because I'm extremely disorganized and shouldn't be allowed to be in control of anything. I think both Eris and Miss Ripper should run because they seem to be a little bit more on top of their shit than I am.

We worked on projection in practice, meaning we just did a lot of yelling, something I've always been very good at. After all the yelling and plow stopping I took a big spill while trying to make a jump turn (where you are skating one direction and jump in the air in order to skate another direction or backwards). I slammed down on my right hip pretty damn hard and now my pelvis is doing some interesting things when I try to stand up. None the less, I will most likely be at practice tomorrow.

Driving to practice sucks, too far away.

I'm waiting a friend of mine to become a fully licensed tattoo artist and then I'm gonna get some skates down my right calf. Not the most original thing in the world, but I'm going to draw them up myself, so it will at least be personalized.

GO DERBY!

Pleather Tuscadero

My Name is Eris Throttle and I LOVE ROLLER DERBY

Hey Yall!

Well, it only feels appropriate to post my initial entry on out blog right after the first practice that I have been able to attend in a month! Unfortunately I've been off my skates for a while due to a head injury, skating with staples in ones scalp just dosent seem like a good idea.(This of course is a fun story, although not totally derby related...So you will have to follow my personal blog to read about it)

Practice was pretty easy, most of the drills we did last night focused on the different types of stops. I felt a bit wonky at first but I'm hoping that by the end of the week I will be back in the grove. We closed practice with a game of last (WO)man standing (this game entails each of the players skating around the track, using various hitting techniques to knock the other players down...last player left standing wins) and one of the players hurt her ankle, which is a total bummer. It just seems like now someone at every practice is going home with an injury.

I just really think that it would important for everyone on the team to take a first aid class. Maybe there is somewhere in Greensboro where they offer them for free?

SKATER OR DIE,

Eris Throttle

The First

Hello hello,

looks like I am the first to be making a post on our brand new blog. I will start with the obvious, this is a blog about roller derby and the trials and triumphs of being a derby girl. Now that being said, I would also like to note that I have both serious issues with spelling and grammar, forgive me, german private let me down academically.

Today was the third wave of our assessments which dealt with blocking, hitting and whips followed up with the always pleasant twenty-five laps in five minutes. I haven't skated in a good week and it was evident in practice today. Summer school is rearing it's ugly head and getting in the way of my derby both physically and mentally. With classes running from 9am to 6pm every day, I am feeling pretty worn thin. Throw work and derby on top of that and I become a little bit of a hysterical mess. It was pretty clear from my performance today that I will not be passing this section of the assessments and will have to wait until next month to take them again. I am beginning to discover that my multi tasking skills are lacking. I am one of those people who can only have one major thing going on in their lives. Unfortunately, that thing is currently school. The stress from school is getting in the way of my life on the rink. The only comforting thing I have going on this weekend is the absence of my roommates, who I love, but it is good to get a little me time. I intend to spend my weekend of solitude being completely naked and eating peanut butter and pickles out of the jar while playing Zelda on Nintendo 64, which I just recently rediscovered, why did I ever give this game up?!

Much love to the derby community and my girls Jess the Ripper and Aris Throttle,

Pleather Tuscadero